Can balance be achieved?

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received was from a family friend at a time when I was searching for answers because life as I knew it had fallen apart. She said, “don’t try so hard to not be your parents that you end up not being yourself.”

My mind was blown.  I hadn’t even considered that such a thing was possible.

As I have gotten older, I see traits from both parents in my behaviour and beliefs. Some are positive and others are not. I still try my hardest to not be them, but I am more aware of who I am in the middle of that struggle.

My mind was blown again when, one day after berating myself for doing something that I knew wasn’t in sync with my values, I realized that I am also who my friends are.  I can be influenced by their values and beliefs even if they aren’t my values and beliefs.

Nurture and nature, association and socialization all play a role in who we are and how we live.  Hopefully we learn the lessons from the consequences of our decisions and actions.  Hopefully, we learn grace and find peace in the tension that balance brings.